Q. What's yellow and swings from one Christmas cake to another? A. Tarzipan!!

Q. What do you get if you cross a dog and a frog?
A. A croaker spaniel!!

Q. What's the difference between a witch and a deer?
A. One's a stunted hag, the other's a hunted stag!!

Q. What is ET's favourite year?
A. 19 ET 3 !!

Q. What alien has the best hearing?
A. The eeriest!!

Q. What did the invisible girl want to be when she grew up?
A. A gone-gone dancer!!

Q. What is a kangaroo's favourite TV show?
A. Dr. Roo!!

Q. What is a cow's favourite TV show?
A. Dr. Moo !!

Q. What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
A. You're too young to smoke!!

Q. Did you hear about the dumb ghost?
A. He climbed over the wall!!

Q. When is a car not a car?
A. When it is stationary!!

Q. Where do you always need an over coat?
A. Chile!!

Q. Why are Gardai so strong?
A. Because they can hold up traffic!!

Q. Why does Santa enjoy working in the garden?
A. Because he likes to Ho-Ho-Ho!!

Q. Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A. To get to the Body Shop!!

Q. What can you use to cut the sea?
A. A sea-saw!!

Q. What do short-sighted ghosts were?
A. Spookacles!!

Q. Why can't two elephants go swimming?
A. Because they only have one pair of trunks!!

Q. What type of sandals do frogs wear?
A. Open-Toad!!

Q. What do you get if you cross elves with a sponge mixture?
A. Fairy cakes!!

Q. Where do cow astronauts travel?
A. To the mooooon!!

Q. How do you start a flea race?
A. Flea-two-one-GO!!

Q. Where are teachers made?
A. One an assembly line!!

Q. What wobbles, can be eaten, and sits in a pram?
A. A jelly-baby!!

Q. Have you heard the tale of the brick wall?
A. I couldn't tell you, you'd never get over it!!
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